Parent as Consumer re: A Child’s Education
This is not an article about how to wisely “shop” for college and/or financial aid. Rather, it is for parents of young children who have recently entered -or are about to enter- the public educational system.
The bottom line here is two-fold: Noone knows your child as well as you do and there is a fine line between being an advocate for your child and alienating those who are educating him/her.
As a highly-experienced reading specialist in the New York State System for over 2 decades, I KNOW how crucial a child’s first experiences in school are. Your child must find success and happiness in those first years as opposed to feeling frustrated and unhappy, because once the latter feeling take hold, it is very hard to reverse them.
First, your child should be ready to begin school. Pre-K and kindergarten programs are generally very beneficial (although not always required) especially in introducing your child to socialization experiences. In addition, there are certain “skills” which are usually expected when you child begins first grade- e.g. some number and letter recognition, knowing colors, manipulation of tools such as crayons and scissors,etc. And as a parent, your positive attitude and excitement towards the “wonderfulness” of going to school is invaluable.
When is it appropriate to intervene? When your child is showing signs of distress - feeling “sick” so he/she doesn’t have to go to school, becoming moody and withdrawn and not willing to talk to you - you need to dig to find out the true issues. Also, if you feel the homework is either too excessive or it is beyond your child’s ability, you need to step in.
Now, I have been a proponent of unions for all of these years, but realistically, unions protect the incompetent as well as the competent. Not everyone should be a teacher. And not everyone should be YOUR CHILD’s teacher. Children at either end of the spectrum i.e. those with some type of disability and those with giftedness, often require special sensitivity from their teachers. When my daughter was in third grade, her teacher complained that she was not being attentive enough. I asked the school psychologist to evaluate my daughter . The result?
My daughter was very bright, had a different style of learning than most of her peers, and was often bored in class. He suggested that the teacher needed to take a different approach. This teacher was willing to adapt. Others might not be so flexible.
It can be a daunting proposition to have to face your child’s teacher with questions about what is best for your child. But you have the ultimate responsibility to do so. If you have any specific questions about what is going on in your child’s school experiences , I will be happy to give you my best-educated opinion.