Since I was able to remember one or two lines from this column, which
was gleefully clipped, decades ago, by someone I know, I was able to
track it down in Google Books. (Unfortunately, finding the book itself
seems to be the only way to read the whole thing.)
It's from his 1978 book: "The Buchwald Stops Here."
Buchwald writes: ".....it turns out even America is running out of
fuel much faster than we ever dreamed it would. No one ever thought it
would happen to the good guys. Son, I don't know how to tell you this,
but.......you will probably not be able to buy a large Cadillac."
My son bit his lip to keep from crying. "But you promised!" he cried.
(snip)
"Someday you're going to get married and have a wife and children."
"I remember you telling me that," my son replied. And you said that if
I worked hard and married, well, I could have a heated swimming pool."
"Well, son, you can still have the children, but by then I doubt if
you can install the heated swimming pool."
"Why would I want kids if I can't have a heated swimming
pool?.............
........The next thing you're going to tell me is that when I grow up
there won't be electric golf carts and I'll have to walk the entire
eighteen holes."
Etc.
Great fun.
Lenona.
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